What's Your Oreo Status?

Kris writes:

When I ask "what's your oreo status," I'm not asking if you happen to have oreos in your kitchen cupboard. Nope - I'm going deeper on this one. When I ask this question, I'm asking: To what degree are you black on the outside and white on the inside? And is this even a legit question? What does it mean to be black on the outside and white on the inside?

A lot of blacks get accused of being "Oreos," and it's quite intriguing. These "Carlton-esque" types (think "Fresh Prince") are considered as contrary to the norm because on some level, they remind people of what is considered "white culture" or "white standards" and yet, on the outside, happen to be black. To speak "white" for example is to not speak "black", for example - to speak articulately and without any usage of ebonics/broken English. Studying and doing well in school can also wind you up in Oreo category - as if studying and learning is so culturally white that you may as well just forget about studying and do something else if you want to maintain the true essence of blackness and remain cool among your peers.

Now...I have sympathy for Oreos. It is harder to be an Oreo in American society because they are fighting the multitude of stereotypes held against black Americans. Why bother risk being viewed as an Oreo and possible alienation by your peers?

I grew up as an "oreo" but I didn't necessarily have what most people consider the "typical black American" growing up experience - my family is from the Caribbean and I grew up in a predominately privileged white suburb, so I wasn't as much of an "other" to my peers because techically, we were mostly all "culturally white" - whether or not you were racially white. But I do believe my personality and my growing up experience would have been different if I grew up in a predominately black American environment, for example, which was not as economically privileged and more prone to critique me if exhibited "Carlton" characteristics.

Every now and again I am reminded of my Carlton status though - but I find that white Americans are more likely to bring it to my attention as I grow older. I usually tend to get the "Wow, you are so articulate" comment - as if somehow being black automatically means that I cannot form a grammatically correct sentence in my head. And I have to admit - the moment I meet someone who has the audacity to suggest something like this - I tend to automatically put them in the "ignorant" category in my head because I find it somewhat esoteric that they are shocked by the existence of an articulate black person, considering the growing amount of black politicians and media moguls that clearly defy the stereotypes out there. Now I just laugh it off, but it is still amusing to see someone get confused when they hear me talking on the cell phone and wonder how my voice is associated with caramel-complexion skin.

Yet, I don't think that my existence makes them rethink their stereotypes of black Americans - I, to many of them, am the exception - just like Condoleeza Rice, Colin Powell, and Barack Obama appear to be the "black exception" within the political arena. Clearly such "stereotypers" are not aware of the growing numbers of Oreos my age and younger who are about to burst forth onto the professional scene. I hope they don't get too overwhelmed by cookie overload.

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Kwan writes:

Yes, it is amazing that we as a people can be prejudiced against our own race. For example: if i chose, as a black man, not to dress as though i'm a rapper it is automatically assumed that I'm stuck up, a "sell-out," or gay. The same thing applies to those of us who excel in corporate America and live in more affluent neighborhoods - we are often viewed as Uncle Toms.

To some extent one could assume that its just jealousy from someone who has not made it to where you are in life. But on the hand, i personally believe there is more to it than just plain jealousy.

As children we are given poor examples of success within the media. I remember growing up watching shows (like "Cribs") which glorify the success of rappers and actors. Also while hanging out with my older brother i remember seeing the drug dealers ride by in nice cars and wearing the best clothes. I remember how "cool" my friends and i thought they were. We knew what the drugs dealers did in order to get the money they so easily flaunted and it seemed easy. The same applied to the rappers and athletes we saw on "Cribs". It was the only way out of where we lived from what we could see.

Now anyone can see the problem with this when you're reading it on paper. But the real problem was the fact that many of our parents reinforced the very same stereotypes. They pushed athletics on us and glorified the foolishness of some rappers. Not by directly saying the things they rapped about were true but by listening to it and singing the songs that glorified hustling. Some parents also reinforced the foolishness by dressing us just like the rappers they silently admired. How many times have any of us seen 2 year-old boys with earrings in their ears. In addition to this have heard a toddler singing songs like "I'm So Hood" while their parents egged them on becuase they felt it was cute.

On the other hand, the select few of us that grew up with a different outlook on life, those of us considered "Oreos" or "Zebras", often times had different upbringings. For example, although my mom worked and went to school while i was in school, my great-grandmother and grandmother stayed on me consistently about my grades and the way i dressed. Education was stressed and i was exposed to successful blacks. Even on the one occasion when i was thrown out of school for fighting because someone called me a "wigga" (try figuring that one out), my granny beat my behind and explained to me that some people say things because they believe the only way to live is the way that everyone around them lives. It's a lack of knowledge and a the fear of anything seen as different. We see it with racism on both sides of the coin and we see with prejudice within our own race. I personally feel that this prejudice is either directly taught or indirectly taught at home. So it starts with those of us who are parents to begin the paradigm shift within our families and our communities.

It takes a village to raise a child!